Midweek rambles

I'm experiencing some software challenges - skip to 2:00 to hear the start of the episode. Apologies for the sound quality!

Opening poem: "Invitation" by Mary Oliver

Books mentioned during this episode: https://birchbarkbooks.com/products/the-seven-circles

Temple Orisha Ile Ifa

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Produced by White Hot

Transcript

Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone)-5 2:14

Invitation. Oh, do you have time to linger for just a little while out of your busy and very important day? For the goldfinches that have gathered in a field of Fussell's for a musical battle to see who can sing the highest note. Or the lowest or the most expressive of mirth or the most tender. They're strong blunt, beaks drink the air as they strive. Melodiously not for your sake and not for mine and not for the sake of winning, but for sheer delight and gratitude. they say it is a serious thing. Just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world, I beg of you. Do not walk by without pausing to attend to this rather ridiculous performance. It could mean something. It could mean everything. It could be. Real good meant when he wrote in you must change your life.

Microphone (Yeti Stereo Microphone) 3:14

Hello. Hello friends while it has been a minute, I have recorded. A wonderful interview with my cousin, but it is currently lost in app hell. And I'm trying to figure out how to edit it. And my editing software has changed the way it looks and I. Can't hear anything in it and I'm trying to troubleshoot that. So it's a whole. Technical mess for me, that's interfering in sharing a wonderful interview with my cousin, Raquel. Ariano actually she might have a different last name. Because she is married. But she's an artist and a singer and a mother. And she lives in Chico, California. And so we just had a wonderful time. It's sort of a rollicking rolling conversation about life and about. Children and motherhood. And ceremony and identity. And all of the wonderful things that I'm really hoping to highlight on this podcast. I feel really glad I did get the interview up with. But he could DJ Santa Cordy. If you have not checked that out. It's the last episode. I enjoyed interviewing him. He is really a special person with a lot of amazing life experience and a wonderful. Wonderful. Viewpoint on life and living his authentic Taino indigenous identity. It's been very busy. We traveled to California as a family. We had a wonderful time out there. The weather was great besides so many dear family and friends. So if you're listening to this podcast and we saw you, hello. We really, really enjoyed visiting everybody. And the bay area was a wonderful place to visit. Especially, if you are traveling in the middle of the day and you don't have to fight traffic to get anywhere, then it was just amazing. We traveled. Over and never once had to sit a traffic jam. It didn't make me regret moving to Chicago, but it did make me realize that perhaps some of my weariness with the bay area was because I was trying to get everywhere. Crammed in on the weekends or the evenings when everybody's on the road. So I strongly urge you. If you're going to go visit. California and make sure you're able to travel. On the weekends or on off hours, because it really was very special. It's been a real season of transitions. We're coming up on fall and my, my daughter is starting school, so that's been a big transition for our family. It's been interesting stepping into this new phase of parenting of having a school age child. And realizing that you just always feel like you're flying a little bit by the seat of your pants as a parent. You have a little bit of the memory of what your parents did. And if you're fortunate like me, you have parents who you have a good relationship with, who you can ask for advice. But they were operating in a world in a school system. That for me is now 43 years old. And so. They the information that my mom has for me about being a parent of a school-aged child. And how to interface with the schools is very different. Then what I have access to now. So it's been a process of figuring that out, creating new routines. And I'm really proud that my daughter has not been late to school. We have made it in the Nick of time several times as they are shoeing everybody inside. But she has not yet gotten a tardy. So I'm very proud of myself for that. And I'm very proud that we have managed to bike most mornings and most evenings. It's been really wonderful to kind of enjoy the cooling weather. And to be able to enjoy the new infrastructure that the city of Chicago is putting in place. There's a resistance and boredom, I think with the material that's being presented in class. And so we're going to keep an eye on that, but when she's not in school, she still seems to be curious and interested in learning and all of those wonderful things that I want to foster and preserve as she moves through this school system.

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As I roam to my neighborhood and got to know my area. One of the things that I encountered. Several times while running different errands and exploring schools. Was the temple already shut ILA ether. Which is a Lukumi temple. Guided by their allow Victor Guzman. And I felt. Every once in a while, when I came there, I just really felt like, huh, I'm near this place again. And I've always been curious. About Lucumi about the kind of diaspora, African diaspora religions in the United States and in the, in the Americas. And so I was a little hesitant to explore them just because I, it was new to me and it was different and it was. I have African heritage, but I haven't always felt fully able to embrace and. And therefore we're able to embrace it, but I've felt like it's very distant and that. While I have African ancestry that the experience of African-Americans here and the, and entering into a primarily African. Diaspora religion. Might be problematic for me. And so I've been cautious about exploring that just because it is different for me, I feel in some way that it's almost. Kind of more serious that the Orisha are a bit more. Demanding in terms of deities and a practice, you know, it is a closed practice. So in order to practice it. You do need to be, you do need to be initiated. And so I have sort of danced around the edges of exploring that kind of spirituality. And I, but I kept feeling like I should really go and check this out and to meet with Baba, Victor. He offers, I think it's divination basically for the year and it's it's public. You pay for the service. And you go and you have the opportunity to sit down with him. And I think anybody can do it. You can make an appointment. You don't have to be a member of the temple. And I had a really amazing experience doing this. I'm I feel really excited. I think that he and his wife are going to be. Coming as, as interviewees, as guests on the podcast soon, because we had just a fascinating conversation after the divination was done. And he gave me the opportunity to record the domination while it was happening. But I decided not to. I wanted to really focus on the experience and focus on what was being said. And I had, he had some really insightful things to share with me. I may never had, I've never had that kind of experience before. It's a divination using a wooden kind of a wooden platter with it looked like corn meal on it, and he had a specific kinds of stones or seed pods that he used. And there was kind of, it was looked like kind of throwing the bones almost. I guess would be the best description. So he would, he would toss them in his hand and make marks. And I don't know what the calculations were that he used, but they, he used them. And then he interpreted them to tell me how, where, where I was kind of where my energy is, where my year is, where things are going, how things are flowing, if there are any obstacles in my path where any blessings or any obstacles are coming from. And it was a really good meaning. It was actually really, I think, accurate and. I realized in setting up the interview. That I have an internalized distrust of any kind of divination. Or This kind of guidance. I think that there's so much culturally that tells us. That people who do this kind of work are trying to cheat you, or that they're tricking you or using psychological tricks to manipulate your belief. And. Sure. I think those people are out there, but I think what's at the root of that attitude toward the experience of divination. Toward the experience of maybe going in and getting your taro cards bread. I think it's. It's adjacent. It's definitely not related, but it's a similar kind of idea, right? Telling you kind of what the obstacles are that are coming with. What is, what has happened in the past to influence the future? And I think that some of it honestly is just internalized racism. I think that it is that there are certainly people who could use this kind of activity to take advantage of people. But I think that when we approach. Everybody that may encounter with the attitude that they are out to cheat us or they're out to manipulate us. You know, then we really cheat ourselves. We cheat ourselves of genuine experiences. And wisdom that other people have to offer. And we don't recognize that there are people who deeply believe in what they do. And that they are doing it out of a sense of love. And compassion and belief and conviction that this is something that benefits other people. So an overview of my reading. It was very, very interesting. The overview of my reading is that this is a time. Of big change and new beginnings. And that my, my energy is toward overcoming that I am. In a real flow state of change. In my life. And the recommendation was that if this, if I'm going to start new habits, if I'm going to start a business, start new things, that this is the time to do it. And I thought that was very, that was very appropriate. I mean, Our whole family is starting a new process with a school. I'm trying to get this podcast more seriously off the ground. And my husband is in a new job. Just so many things are swirling around. I'm trying to create. Better habits around exercise around spirituality. Around being more healthy as a mentally and emotionally. And so I felt really like this was the, you. You know, that that was reflected in what he was telling me. And then he also mentioned that the blessings that were flowing were really from my ancestors and that my ancestors didn't want anything specific for the blessings. They were, they were happy to accept food or. Prayers or smoke or. Flowers water, anything that I could offer them. They were just, they were very supportive of the direction that my life is going. And that was really nice to hear. And she said, he said that he was getting a very strong female energy from my ancestors and I have always felt. You know, and all of these kinds of experiences. When I went to see my crew. Vendetta. In San Francisco. When I think about when I do visioning and I think about who is standing around me as a protector. I feel my grandma Bessie very, very strongly. And I hear my grandma, Kate also in my mind. And so I feel, and I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast, I feel very much like the women in my life do support me in my female ancestors. Are reaching back or down or out. Two. To give me strength and to give me direction. And since I've been on this path, I have really felt like things are flowing along better. You know, I'm coming out of a period of real turbulence and darkness and difficulty with my anxiety. And it really has felt in the last six months that this has sort of lifted. And I feel like I am born up on a tide. Of energy. and intention. And so I'm going to lean into it. That was Baba Victor's recommendation is ride that ride. That feeling, ride that energy take care of my heart, which is, I did not tell him this, but I had, I did have a very bad panic attack in December that made me think I was having a heart attack. And so I've been very vigilant about about exercise and about diet as a result of that health scare. So he said, take care of your heart and take care of your spine. And also had my back go out very badly twice. Just recently it was this past summer. And so, you know, part of this whole aim toward physical health is to prevent both of those from getting worse. And so I thought it was interesting that the reading picked up. Those two areas to specifically focus on. And then he also said that I am meant to be in. Positions of leadership. And interestingly enough, I just accepted the role of president of my son's daycare. Co-op so. I am in all ways. You know, moving. Forward in the way that this reading indicated that I should. So it was really, it was very moving to have him talk about that. And it was really beneficial to hear. That. They're there. Our forces and. Family members and maybe even not just. My blood relatives, but then my other ancestors and I, you know, the plant people, the. The animal people, you know, all of those are my cousins and my relatives and my elder brothers and sisters in this world. Right. So hearing that I'm in the flow space, that I, this is the time to try new things and to ride the energy wave and to move forward into a new, a new way of being was really. It was really affirming. And in a conversation afterward. You mean he and his wife talked about how we can create ourselves, that we can tell ourselves we're stories that we write for ourselves. And I really loved that because. It gives you like, yes. There's always the concern that there's almost forces and. Society thing, societal things that shape us and who we are, but the put to take back some of that power and say, you know what? I can decide. I can write my own identity and my own life. And I can change the narrative that I tell about myself. I think for a long time, My narrative was that I'm disorganized and that I am. Forgetful and I procrastinate and, and all of these things on and on and on. And that was all of a room, negative self loop and story that I told myself and talking to them. I thought, you know what, if I didn't start to tell myself I am capable. I am strong. That everybody has bad days and that's okay, but I don't have to be defined by my bad days that I'm not alone, that I know this, I sense this, that I'm connected to the life and the people around me. And that, that togetherness and that web and that support if I lean into it, that can give me the strength to get over and through bad days and bad times and dark times. So it was a really wonderful. Meaning and a meeting, an opportunity to sit and have a conversation about life and energy and how we, how we construe. How are we. Construct ourselves. In the ways in which we can maybe make that new. So that was very meaningful. I really hope that Baba Victor is available with his wife to, to speak about this. She's also amazing. She's getting her PhD in divinity studies and. So I think that's going to be a very rich conversation. Around all the topics that we usually discuss here on the podcast. Or that I usually discuss since. So far as you guys know, there's only been one other person on this podcast. So. So that I discuss. Part of my wellness journey that I engaged that I've engaged in. As I started. This book. Called the hold on. I'm getting a title called these seven circles, indigenous teachings for living well. And this spoke to me in the bookstore and I pulled it off the shelf. It looked wonderful and I'm working my way through it. And I am really appreciative of. The structure of the book. And the way that the authors have set up an analysis and a way of thinking about wellness in our lives. And so they identified seven areas in our lives that we should really try and achieve balance between. And one of the principles that they emphasize in the book. Is that balance doesn't mean? That you're always going to look the same or that you're going to be perfect in every area. Balance means that you look and you adjust in. Keep, you know, keep tabs on what's happening in your life and that you are intentionally trying to go to meet these areas. To improve. Your overall state of wellbeing. And so the point of the book is that wellness is not just what you eat. And how much sleep you get or what you eat and how much you weigh. That wellness is really an interlocking network of seven different areas and they identify food. Land. Community sacred space ceremony. Good community land, sacred space ceremony. Movement. And oh gosh, I'm missing one sleep. So. I think one of the things that's jumping out at me as I read through this, and it's going to be a long process because I initially thought that this was sort of. A book that I could just read straight through and be like, oh, there are seven areas. Okay. How do I maximize those, but really it's a pretty deep book. And it talks about, they give you kind of three levels of engagement in each area. Learn, engage. And then. Learn apply. Engage. Something like that. And so basically it's like the first level was just. Kind of a level setting. Where are you in this area? What are the, what are your strengths in this area? You know, what do you want to work on in this area? Then the next level is applying that and maybe getting into rhythms that support the healthier aspects of behavior in those areas. And then the third level is that you are doing it, that it is a regular practice. And so I think it's going to be a really transformational, personal practice to try and implement it. I started with my sleep area because when I did an analysis of looking at kind of relatively speaking, well, it's not like it's not very scientific, but. Just an analysis of like, Kind of just thinking about the areas and looking about looking at where. Making a list, an area in each area and seeing how I do. Sleep really jumped out as an area that I've been, that has really negatively affected. My life. And so when I don't get very much sleep. I'm more disorganized. My temporary short-term anxiety spikes higher. And so I figured that I would address that area first because I felt that was the most. Critical area. And as I worked on the sleep area, I realized that it was connected to the other areas. Right. That's I think part of the point of the book is that. Each area is a general area, but they do crossover. And so. I'm working on my sleep hygiene. I'm just going to address that one piece for 30 days and to try and get into a good rhythm there. And then I'm going to move slowly over and tackle some of the other areas in the book that. R that they identify as. It's essential to, to wellness. And so it's. It's really, I think going to be a good book for me to incorporate into my life for the next year. I'm looking at it as a longer journey. So we'll talk a little bit more. Maybe about what the book has to say about different areas as I read them. And as I start to apply them but I think that it's worth checking out of the library if you can, or looking them up online or even buying the book, if you're really interested in diving deep. Because I think that they have a lot of wisdom to share. In their book and in their methodology.

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Something that I've noticed in my journey. And then even in the encounters that I mentioned here, the learning that I had and the insight that Baba Victor gave me, and also talking about this book on indigenous wellness, I realize as I'm approaching all these things, That there is a voice in my head that is. Really cynical and distrust, distrustful of earnestness. And I think that. When I, when I was thinking about what to talk about today on the podcast, I wanted to talk about how my generation. Really loves the ironic distancing. That we use irony and. And distrust and and kind of I think we, I think we learned it as a sophisticated. Kind of. I'm trying. I'm not thinking of the word, but some sort of sophisticated. Difference or distance from the thing that is happening in our lives. That's kind of cool. Right. But you care, she don't care too much that you, that you. Ironic detachment. That's what I'm looking for so that we approach everything with this ironic detachment. And kind of the worst thing that you could possibly do is to be earnest. And to be. To take things seriously and to. And to, and to try and be authentic. Right. Am I was talking about this with my mom. And she was talking about an encounter with a younger guy in his twenties or early thirties. In a, in which now that's like 10 or 20 years younger than me, which is kind of terrifying, but she was talking about how she met him in a crystal shop and the both. Which for the same crystal at the same time or something. And that they had this moment where they were both holding it and they looked at each other and then like he bowed to her or something. Or said, thank you. And then they, like, they parted and she was talking about how she was waiting for him to laugh or to make a joke about it. And that that didn't happen. And that he was genuinely, he genuinely felt that they had a connection and he leaned into that. In a very earnest way. And I realized, you know, somebody's imagination, that's not going to happen. So. I think one of the things that is probably the biggest battle for me in living a more authentic. Open kind hearted life is this urge to make a joke out of everything. And to use that, to keep things and experiences at a distance. And maybe that's a defense mechanism, right? If you don't care about things too much, then you can't be hurt and it's not, you know, I had very loving parents. So this is not as a result of. My. Childhood or by parents not loving me enough. I mean, we had our problems for sure. And my parents had their challenges for sure. But in general, I would say overall, my parents were very loving toward us. And so I'm thinking that this is maybe more of a generational cultural thing. You know, this distrust of earnestness, this distrust of. I think we see it as naivete and that if you're naive, you're going to get taken advantage of. And that people are going to steal or take or ruin or otherwise wreck things that we care about. And that it's in that way. It's, it's your fault as the naive person, rather than looking at it and saying. No, no, it's the, it's the people who take advantage of you. It's their fault. Because there. Acting poorly, they're being there in that moment indulging in their worst aspects of, of humanity. Right. And so it's interesting. That. As I'm moving into this space. I'm having to constantly fight with that impulse to lead with distrust. To lead with skepticism to never kind of dip too deeply into experiences or beliefs. And. So I think that there's, there's always. Aye. Believe that there is definitely a place and a need for critical thinking, particularly when you're dealing with. When you're dealing with. People's religious beliefs or spiritual experiences. Right. I think that there can be. Oftentimes some odd overlap into some people that maybe they have beliefs that are a little far out there. Right? I mean, I still believe the earth is round and I believe in gravity and science is a thing. Right. But I think when you lead with. Disbelief and you lead with skepticism. Then I think you end up. Inadvertently leaning into an accepting. A kind of scarcity mindset that people are always out to get you, that you have to hold onto what's yours, that nobody's being genuine and honest. And if we all believe that we're all the worst aspects of humanity. Then. Then I don't think that leaves a lot of room for a connection and it's an exhausting way to live. So. This is just kind of a collection of things that are swirling around in my head as I. As I put together this placeholder episode. But I hope that you find. Some moments to set whatever critical voice aside. And ironically and. With full connection. Genuinely and. genuinely and deeply enjoy and be open to the possibility that there is wonder. And that. There is. There is. Beauty in the unknown. And that. There are positive. Good forces in humanity to. So that's all. For today. Thank you for listening. Be blessed, have a wonderful day. And enjoy this fall transition.